The Leather Pants Party
by RavenWillow
Summary: Co-written by Fox_goddess and me. We gather the boys (and men) of Harry Potter together for a Leather Pants Party, and chaos ensues. Boozing, leather clothing, and pink tutus. Enjoy!


The Leather Pants Party

A/N: Erm, we wrote this during a very boring history class…it's kind of insane. I think we love the HP characters too much! (Not to mention our leather fetish…) Oh, and we don't hate Snape! We just thought he'd look better in the attire we chose as opposed to leather. If this gets lots of good reviews we may write a sequel, which will most likely be better than this one cuz we wrote it in an hour. The beginning sucks, but it gets better, I promise! There's lots of plot holes, but stories like this aren't supposed to make sense anyway. 

Disclaimer:All characters belong to JK. The idea belongs to Fox and I. Kanga belongs to herself (so she says…). Raven's basement belongs to Raven (me!). Vex and Island Stingers are registered trademarks of whoever they belong to. Jumanji belongs to whoever made up that movie. And all the Simpsons quotes we ripped off belong to the writers of the Simpsons (geniuses *sniff*).

The Leather Pants Party

By: Fox_goddess and RavenWillow

[It's a boring afternoon. Fox and Raven are hanging out, bored as ever.]

Fox: I'm bored.

Raven: Yes, we've already established that.

F: So what should we do?

R: I know! Let's have a leather pants party!

F: OK!

R: Who should we bring in first?

F: Let's start with…Harry!

*poof*

Harry: Uh…hi?

F: Hi Harry! Want an Island Stinger or a Vex?

Harry: A what?

R: Never mind…

F: Now Raven, how shall we dress Harry? [She snaps her fingers and Harry lacks clothing.]

Harry: Ack!

R [wiping the drool away]: OK…maybe we should give him some clothes. *snap*

[Harry appears wearing a pink tutu.]

Harry: This is even worse! Help!

R: Oops, sorry. That's Snape's wardrobe. *snap*

[Harry appears in black leather pants and a black shirt.]

F: Yay! Leather party! We need more people, though. Let's get Draco in here!

*poof* [Draco drops out of the sky.]

Draco: Ow…where the hell am I?

R: Welcome to the Leather Pants Party! Oops, he's lacking leather. QUICK, I NEED 500CCs OF LEATHER, STAT!" *snap*

[Draco appears in brown snakeskin pants and a white shirt, half unbuttoned.]

Draco: WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING?!

R: It's Armani, I thought you'd like it…Fox, dear, close your mouth, you're getting drool everywhere.

Harry: This is too kinky for my liking. Can I go home now?

F: Harry, no! Hey Draco, wanna drink? [waves a Vex in his face] You know you want it.

[Draco grabs the drink greedily and sits on a couch, grumbling.]

R: OK, this party's dead. Let's bring in…

*poof*

Harry: The Weasley twins?

Fred & George: Um, Harry, what's with the pants? And who are these girls?

F: Ooh, twins! Thanks, Raven! [tackles the twins] Let's make you match!

*snap*

Draco: Fred is sporting a pair of the traditional black leather pants with a tight orange tank top, then comes George with a yellow shirt and pants to match his brother.

R: Draco, I question your sexual preference.

Draco: So does everyone else…HEY!

[Raven and Fox snigger.]

Draco: Well, can you guys at least bring in a girl? All this leather is making me uncomfortable…

R: I s'pose…Hmmm…

*poof*

Raven and Fox's very confused friend Kanga: Uh, Fox? Raven? What's going on?

R: We bring you Draco!

F: Desperate!

R: And in leather!

[Kanga squeals and tackles Draco, dragging him off.]

F: Happy now?

[Harry staggers out from behind the bar, and empty bottle of vodka in hand.]

Harry: I love you guys, all of you!

F: Uh oh, Harry's gotten into the hard liquor. That's _mine_!

[Fox tackles Harry and beats him.]

R: Well, this is getting better, but we're still missing something…

Fred [mumbling]: Yeah, and authority figure…

R: Great idea! Thanks!

George: I don't like the sound of that.

*poof* [Remus and Sirius appear. Raven squeals with delight.]

Remus: Um, ok…I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am, and I am in leather pants…

Sirius: Go with it, man! [Grabs a Vex from Fox.]

F [leaving Harry passed out by the bar]: Now the party is complete! [Fox collapses on a couch with George & Fred.] Well…except for one thing.

*poof* [Snape appears in a pink tutu.]

F [giggling]: Dance, you greasy-haired git! [She threatens him with her wand.]

Snape: Ack! Help! [begins to prance.]

R: Complete? My dear Fox, no Leather Pants Party would be complete without…

*poof*

R: Ron! [Ron looks around, confused at his new leather attire.]

F: Ron's mine! I own the Weasley boys!

Ron [backing away from Fox slowly]: Where are we, anyway?

R: The best place to go for a drunken party!

F: Raven's basement!

*snap* [Booze, beanbag chairs, a fog machine and swanky music appear.]

Ron: Al right!

F: Mmm, Vex, my favourite! Besides the Weasleys, of course.

Fred and George: Hey, we're lacking attention!

F [in a sing-song voice]: I'm coming!

Harry [swaying drunkenly]: Come one everybody! Everybody get naked! Come on, don't be shy, it's going to be great!

R: OK! We have everyone in leather, Snape in a tutu and Harry's faced – what now?

Sirius [grabbing another drink and ripping off his shirt]: PAR-TAY! [He chugs his drink and passes out on the floor.]

Ron: Ri-i-i-ght….

Remus [to no one in particular]: These pants are chafing me… 

F: Hey Remus, if those pants are chafing you, why not take them off?

[Remus cowers.]

Fred: Hey Fox, what about us?

F: Oh yeah! [Prances off to her corner with the Weasleys.]

R: What corner? This room is circular…

Remus [turning to Raven]: Well, seeing as how you're the only sane one here, what's say you get rid of everyone and I'll show you ***CENSOR***

F: Ew, that was the dirtiest pickup line ever!

Remus: I must warn you, I get kind of weird once a month.

R: That's al right, so does every girl.

[Draco emerges, buttoning up his shirt. Looks around at Harry hanging off a chandelier, Sirius passed out on the floor, Snape in his tutu, and all the other goings-on.]

Draco: Did I miss something?

R: Not much.

Draco [shrugging]: Well, as long as everyone's here, let's just party!

Ron: Uh oh, all the booze is gone…

Harry: I know how to solve this one! JUMANJI! [long pause] It didn't work…

[Everyone stares at the empty bar. Snape emerges from a back room, having changed out of his tutu. He is now also in leather pants.]

Snape: What's going on?

Fred [pointing at the empty bar]: All the booze is gone.

Snape: WHAT? But liquor is the sustenance of life!

[Everyone screams in terror at the prospect of a booze-less party.]

R: This fanfic is over…

*poof* [Almost everyone goes back to where they came from.]

F [shrugs]: It was fun while it lasted.

R: Yeah…wanna go watch some Heath Ledger movies and get drunk?

F: Sure.

[Fox and Raven exit.]

Harry [still hanging from the chandelier]: Hello? Mrs. Pummelhorse? I'd like to get down now…

***

Fin


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